A sense of identity
-is crucial for a society, because it is a sense of identity that gives a society its sense of identity.
This is clear, for example, when you go to China, you see a lot of Chinesey people, doing Chinesey things, in Chinesey ways.
AS EVERYBODY KNOWS,
Earthquakes are caused by the shifting of tectonic plates among the lithosphere.
What you might not know, is that said tectonic plates move at the same pace that fingernails grow.
This is what has led me to resolve that the single most effective method to initiate an earthquake, is we need to get at least 2 continents worth of long nailed people tocut their nails at the exactly same time.
This dramatic shift in the growth/destruction rate of lithospheric crust will cause widespread disruption of the world’s plates, resulting in localised, and occasionally mass damage.
Although there is no ‘real’ scientific evidence, I give you exhibit A:
The most destructive recent earthquake was in San Francisco, 1906. Now, at risk of overgeneralising, a vast percentage of San Francisconian’s are known to be
In the fear of generalisation, i hesitate to suggest that they are considerately more concerned regarding their appearance, therefore, are more likely to get manicures, therefore cause earthquakes. Bam. There we have it
Universities in the UK have begun immersive studies exploring the ‘Insulating potential of the humble chicken’
Tests have shown that the density of a chickens flesh, aided by their very sedated behaviour, is ideal in the reduction of heat transfer between objects in thermal contact or in range of radiative influence.
In layman’s terms, the internal structure of chicken meat fibres make them ideal for absorbing and containing heat, as anyone having burned their mouth and lips on a deceptively steamy KFC breast piece can tell you.
As for their practical real world uses, Chicken Matter Thermal Sheets are speculated to work as a cheap, sustainable insulation in suburban houses. On top of it’s obvious warming advantages, on a crisp summer day, not only does it keep the heat out, one’s house will swim in the scent of freshly baked chicken.
For millennia, all we have used chairs for is sitting on, but that is just because their shape lends themselves to such a function. Originally, chairs were invented by neolithic man to keep loins at bay.
Chairs are, in fact, the only thing that lions are scared of; as anyone who has visited a circus can tell you.
In many respects, chairs are the natural predators of lions. That’s why you never see lions in IKEA. It’s terrifying for them.
Although, they are not afraid of all furniture. They are actually occasionally quite fond of wardrobes. ←————- A bit of a Narnia reference for you there.